Giving a Cutter a Shiny New Knife, all sharpened and everything, is probably a mistake, because we all know what the first thing they are gonna do is...
Of course, guess what I Received today? a Perfectly new Throwing Knife - sharpened and ready to throw.
I got it from someone who KNOWS I Cut, but is more screwed up mentally then I am. it is a small yet comforting thought, to know that he has a few more problems than I do.
But you know what I want more that a traditional Japanese Throwing knife? I want a Traditional Japanese 8-Point Shuriken....
Using one of those I'd be set. if the 1st point duels out I got another. and it takes a long time before i need to re-sharpen my Blades.
Sigh, Maybe one day I will buy myself one. but for now, I think someone else suspects my little... lets call it a Habit. If this one person found out, I know it would crush them, and if I let that happen... well my hands would be tied... a Catch 22 so to speak.
I would want to stop cutting for them, but at the same time disappointing this one person, who means the world to me, would cause me to be more Depressed than ever, therefore giving me the biggest reason to cut.
One day, I might be able to get myself to stop my Habit, but I don't think that day is anywhere in the near future. I depend on it to much these days. I need it, it keeps me from .... to put it simply, taking a long walk, off a short cliff.
Makes me wonder... Would anyone miss me? Would anyone realize I was even gone if my body was never found? or would everyone just go on in their daily lives, not even suspecting that someone disappeared off the face of the planet?
